(Speech of Dr. Pham Thi Ly, director of Center for International Education, Culture Exchange and Research (Ho Chi Minh City, University of Education, Viet Nam) with students of Eastern Connecticut State University (USA) at “The Student Leadership Development Program” held by ECSU, Connecticut, USA on October 6th, 2005.)

Today, I’m very happy and honored to be here with all of you, who may one day become the leaders of your country. If my mother was still alive, she wouldn’t be able to imagine the position where I’m standing today, because of the huge distance that I have gone through, between the place where I was brought up and where I am now. I’m bringing you my story, of a woman who came from an unfavourable situation, who has overcome obstacles and hardships to become a useful citizen and make a contribution to society, and is recognized by it. I hope the story of my life will help you believe that if you truly wish for a happy life, you will have the opportunities and abilities to achieve it, even if your starting point, may be at the bottom of society. I believe that every one of us has used only a small fraction of what Creation has given us, and if we can utilize more than that, we will be able to achieve even greater success.

I was born in a very poor family with a lot of children. My father couldn’t even remember all the names of his 12 children; we had grown up like wild flowers in the fields. My elder sisters had to drop out of school when they were little and had to work very hard; the elder ones took care of the younger ones, to support ourselves.

When I was 13, my country went through a historical event: the end of the war and the beginning of a new period. Everybody was having difficulties more than they ever had before. Famine spread. Despite being very poor, my mother raised us in the purity of conscience and righteousness. When I was 15, I had to drop out of school and worked to earn my own living because my family couldn’t support me anymore, even though education then was totally free. But I didn’t want to stop school at all. At that time, I realized that education and knowledge brought the miraculous light into my life, helped me look further than the narrow walls of my house, to see and imagine the great world outside. Knowledge helped me understand the greatness of human’s dignities and raised in me the desire to prove myself. I yearned for knowledge.

At the age of 15, I decided to leave my family, being completely on my own in life, to find ways to continue my studies. An elder sister of mine who had 3 little children then shared with me her little amount of food at the beginning. After that, I worked part-time and continued my schooling at the same time. It was a poor country-side school where both the students and teachers got wet if there was rain. But I never felt bad because of hunger and poverty, because I was immersed in the world of knowledge and lived among the best of friends. Knowledge made me feel that I was worthy, even though I was among the poorest of the poor back then. I won a prize in a national student’s competition, ranked first on the high school graduation examination, and earned a free ride to college. During college, I lived on half the meal I was provided by the government, which wasn’t enough for most students without additional help from their families; I shared the other half with my elder sister who had to drop out of elementary school and taught herself to finish high school. With these meals, I graduated from college with the highest honors.

After graduation, I was married and had a child. When my son was born, I could only provide him with an orange for the whole week, one little piece every day, because I didn’t have enough money to buy him an orange every day. In 1992, I fell very ill; nobody thought I could overcome my illness. During the 6 months in the hospital, there was always an English course book in my hands. It was a miracle that I recovered, and when I left the hospital, I could understand and speak a bit of English. This opened a new page of my life. Thanks to the ability to use English, I could see new things and expand my concerns for society. I started working at CIECER as a secretary. The center was there to organize collaboration research, workshops, seminars, and exchange activities between scholars and students at home and abroad, and to produce publications that introduced the latest ideas and research success in the field of education internationally. My job was to take care of all the little things, like making tea or typing, etc. for the scholars. But thanks to that, I was able to meet the greatest minds of my country in the field of education and culture, and also some foreign researchers. By translating English research papers to Vietnamese for the purpose of the center, I came to know the most advanced ideologies of my time. I learned a lot from my director. He encouraged me to continue my studies. Vietnam by then had already gone into a different period, life was much better than before.

While preparing the thesis for my PhD degree, I had to face an even greater difficulty. I had been too far away from the academic knowledge for a long time and was too busy with tedious work, and so I thought this thesis was an obstacle I could never overcome. That was the second time in my life when I felt like I couldn’t go on — the first time was when I was 15 and trying to learn how to use the typewriter: I pressed each and every key and felt like I could never remember which letter was where, and that I would never be able to use the typewriter. But I thought: if other people can do it, then I can do it too; if it takes them 1 day to learn, then I’ll spend 10 days to learn; I must be able to do what others can. And I finally defeated the typewriter!

While doing my thesis, I remembered that experience. I had been reading books for 5 years and wrote my 200-page thesis in only 1 month, when every cell in my body was filled with the iron will that I had to complete this thesis at any cost. And my thesis was graded with 7 out of 7 votes as Excellent! Completing that thesis had once more made me firmly believe in my motto: “I want to, means, I am able to!” I earned my PhD degree, became the Vice Director and then Director of CIECER, HCMUE.

Looking back on what I’ve gone through, I know that I’m a lucky person, because I had the chance to meet many good people, and I’m grateful for their help and the lessons they taught me. Cases like mine are actually not rare in my country, in my time. As for woman rights, Vietnam has many progressive policies. Because of the war, all men had to go to the front line; women then assumed the role of leader in the family, who took care of the children and the family in general. After the end of the war, the role of leader transferred back to men, but the government continued to develop sexual equality policies. Legally there are no obstacles for women to become successful. They have the same rights and responsibilities as those of men. At my university, 55% of the lecturers are female, 60% of the doctors are female, and the percentage of women in leading positions is 42%. Before, poor families often prioritized schooling for boys, and girls had to stay at home to take care of their younger siblings as well as general chores, while their parents were away working on the field. Nowadays, more and more families consider the importance of education equally between boys and girls, especially in urban areas. More and more women go to work and become successful in different fields.

This tradition of equality of the sexes, as well as the great success that Vietnamese women have achieved, actually originated from our history. In the revolution of The Two Trung Sisters in the year 248 against Chinese Rulers, there were 75 female generals. During Le Thai Ton and Le Thanh Tong dynasties in the fifteenth (XV) century, there were women like Nguyen Thi Lo, Ngo Chi Lan, who held the title Le Nghi Hoc si, Phu gia nu hoc si, which were important positions in the government regarding education and culture. In 1973, the Vietnam Minister of Foreign Affairs, who signed The Final Act of The International Conference to End the War and Guarantee Peace in Vietnam, was a woman named Nguyen Thi Binh. And right now, the Vice President of Vietnam is also a woman, Mrs. Truong My Hoa. The number of female Representatives in the Congress has increased from 17% to 27% in the last decade. The number of women graduated from universities and colleges increased from 38% to 42%, and female professors from 8% to 9%. Half of the country’s labor force are women: female workers 47%, females in the Service area 51%, female government employees 47%. Beginning in 1945, women were given the right to vote and receive the same salary as men working in the same positions.

In Vietnam, the law has declared women to be equal in everything and that is an important thing; however, in reality, whether the women can acquire true equality or not is up to them. To achieve the same position or success like those of men, women have to work much harder. The choice between career and family is a difficult one, and when the woman wants to choose both, she often has to sacrifice a lot. In a developing country, where making ends meet is still a problem, to be able to succeed and prove themselves is harder than ever for women.

Now, I’d like to talk about the challenges that women have to face, while men mostly do not. Being a mother is the greatest of challenges that I have ever experienced. It’s not just about taking care of your children when they’re sick, washing their dirty clothes, or closing your eyes when you pass by a beautiful dress in the shop on the way back from your part-time job so that you can buy them ice cream or candies, or even missing a meeting, rejecting a party invitation to stay home with them when they need you. Being a mother is not just devoting all your time or money to them, but also your soul, and sometimes you have to forfeit your own thoughts and desires for their benefit. To love your children unconditionally, not only when your children are still little and learning how to speak, but even when they hurt you the most, is much more difficult than doing a PhD thesis! But I would never suggest to you not to have children in order to focus on your career. Because at a certain point in your life, you will realize that children can teach you the most valuable lesson about letting go of your selfishness and learning to be more tolerant. And maybe one day, when you feel like you can’t go on anymore, their love will become the strongest support you’d ever wished for. Being a mother itself is a very difficult thing, but being a mother and pursuing your ambitions of a career is even harder, because we are but ordinary people, and life often asks us to make difficult choices. People tend to like to have everything, but the difference is how we prioritize our objectives.

From my own experience, I believe that education and knowledge provides the greatest powers for each person, especially women, to be able to control their own lives and achieve the freedom to make their own decisions, which is the main aspect in proving oneself, in living a useful life for the society as well as for them. To become leaders, we must be able to control ourselves and then we can become the people that we’ve always wanted to be. We have the right to demand respect from others, if we’re worthy of it. We can arrive at our desired destination with efforts and knowledge, if we understand who we are and what we want in life. Poverty may be an obstacle, but it can also be a motive. The value of a person is not based on his or her race, gender or origin, but on his/her awareness of life and what he or she is willing to devote to it.

Thank you for listening, and I’d also like to thank Dr. Paul Bryant for giving me this valuable chance to share with you my own experience and thoughts. I’d like to listen to your thoughts now and learn from your perspectives as well. May all of you have a bright future.